.... with a little bit of a remix.
Today we're playing #acmcm... that's "Awkward Celebrity Man Crush Monday."
You have those, right? ... Those few people you would kinda die if people knew you had a crush on, so you secretly keep them to yourself and then swoon like a 13 year old girl when they come on your tv screen??
I know I'm not the only one. My old roomie Andrea (who I now know reads this nonsense, so shout out to Andrea!!) used to have this thing for Conan O'Brian.
That one I'm never gonna get.
But I love that she did, and Andrea wins +10 cool points for letting her freak flag fly.
[And by the way, before we get in to my picks... let's just set this straight. I googled "awkward celebrity crushes" before I started writing this to make sure there were more weirdos out there like me and Andrea.
Don't worry. There are.
But an alarming number of people said their awkward celebrity crush was Alan Rickman.
Like, no.
Alan Rickman is not your awkward celebrity crush. He's just your celebrity crush.
I think Professor Snape is a perfectly acceptable answer.]
But back to my secret suitors...
Let's start you out gently.
.....
(3) Matthew Gray Gubler
MGG might be a giant nerd, but he's the most exceedingly handsome giant nerd I've ever seen, so he might seem like he doesn't belong on this list.
Let me assure you, he does.
If you do the least bit of research on the guy, you learn quickly that he is w.e.i.r.d.
And not weird in like a quirky, but endearing type way, either. Like scary weird.
He has his own website, which looks like this:
It makes really frightening noises, and includes his personal art collection, where you can find pictures like this self portrait:
and these of his friends:
I knew all of those things above, and I watched a handful (okay, maybe more like 4 hours worth) of bizarre interviews on youtube, and it still didn't stop me from featuring his face on my phone screen for a solid two months in 2009.
....................
(2) Victor Garber
Things are starting to get weirder.
I know Victor Garber bats for a different team. I know he's more than twice my age.
Doesn't matter.
Something in my mind just thinks "yeesss," whenever I watch him. It might be because he's so darn charismatic. I don't know. But I do know if he ever asks me over to his loft for a dinner of mixed greens while we softly jam to musical theater, I'm going. And y'all know I don't even eat from that whole food group, so I think that's a pretty good testament for Mr. Garber.
....................
Ready for my most shocking?
I think some people think I'm kidding when I say this, but let me assure you.... I'M. NOT.
(1) Richard Schiff
At some point in time, we're going to talk about the West Wing on this blog, because it is one of my all time favorite shows, and there is never going to be an end to the good things I can say about it.
Implicit in that love for the West Wing is my love for Toby Ziegler (aka: the best written character for a television show ever.)
If I'm being honest, Richard Schiff probably isn't all that alluring- it's Zieglar that's won my heart. But it is impossible for me to separate the two, so we're going to roll with it.
Watching Toby Zieglar... and the way that Richard Schiff plays Toby Zieglar... is the kind of thing I enjoy so much it hurts. He speaks to my soul in a way only a Sorkin-made character can.
He's smart. He's funny.
He's warm and off-putting at the exact same time.
I saw a tumbler that said "Toby Zieglar is my spirit animal."
I couldn't agree more.
Not only is he #1 on my awkward celebrity crush list, he *might* just be at the top of my "people I'm dying to canoodle" list, period.
(*canoodle means cuddle, you guys. don't make me promiscuous.)
....................
Do y'all have any secret (or not so secret) awkward celebrity crushes? I'm seriously kinda dying to know. Things could get really freaky, really fast, and I would be so down with that.
Kevin Kline, Andy Samburg, Dax Shepard
ReplyDeleteKevin Kline is an excellent answer, and I'm with you there.
ReplyDeleteAndy Samburg... I feel like the only thing make him *awkward* is his big nose, and I'm cool with that.
And I like his spastic sense of humor. I don't know if I can approve this one.
I'm on the fence with Dax Shepard. I've watched a couple of seasons of Parenthood, and he's so damn like-able in that, I just don't know if he fits here.
But he does kind of look like a baby dinosaur, so we'll roll with it.
Then again I probably shouldn't be judging you on your selections since you're the only person who has ever even commented on this thing, (and without you there might be no one else reading it) sooooo I take it back.
Your answers are all outstanding.